Poole Party

When Parkers Chapel senior Emily Poole requested that I fill out a questionaire and give it back to her, I obviously didn't know what I was getting myself into. Poole, who is one of several area high schoolers who write columns for the News-Times, made me the subject of her latest column.
Actually, I don't know if I'm the subject of her column or the butt of her joke.
Whatever. I've got a sense of humor.
I'm starting to feel the same way about white girls as O.J. Simpson.
Okay, now that's funny. Write that one down Emily Poole.
Anyway, here's Emily's column about yours truly.

Back when the dinosaurs still roamed the earth, a local sports writer began writing for the El Dorado News Times.
Actually, it wasn't exactly that long ago since Tony Burns began gracing the pages of the sports section - only 17 years.
I have been following basketball since my aunt was in high school in the early 90s, and even then I can remember seeing Tony in the shadows with his pen and paper. Obviously, I couldn't read when I first met him, but as soon as I could his articles began interesting me. Considering he always does all the writing, for once I figured it would be nice if someone turned the tables and interviewed him.
After typing up a questionnaire, I gave it to Mr. Burns to fill out at a ball game to answer whenever he had a chance. After I promised to not misquote him, I couldn't wait to read the almost illegible hand-writing to see what he had to say.
It did not take long to see that we agreed on many things.
While “playing” at both Hermitage and Hampton his sophomore and senior season, I wonder if it ever crossed Tony Burns' mind that he would eventually be responsible for submitting articles for girls sporting events around the county.
Perhaps it was the fact he was so good that motivated him to become a sports editor, “The older I get, the better I used to be,” he reminisced.
Judging by his age, he should be going pro any time now.
Conservatively attending thirty games every season, he has accumulated roughly around 600 games and 600 hospitality room visits under his belt. Highlights of his career include seeing kids from the area make it to the national level: James Anderson, Amanda McCurdy, Kevin Payne and Jonathon Modica.
I was pleased to see that both of his most exciting moments he recalled from over the years were also two of mine, Sharonda Davis' desperation shot from half-court and Jeni Saunders Martin’s hook shot prayer from half in the state tournament. I was only three when Jeni Saunders made her game winning shot at the buzzer, but I recall the frenzy the gym went into after the ball fell through the net. I could possibly remember this so well because she is my aunt and that would be the only three she would ever make in her career.
I was also at the Dual State finals between Union and Emerson when Sharonda “Tootie” Davis launched a three from the state line that sent all spectators into a roar.
Consolidation has played a major part in depleting key rivals among area teams. Some of Tony's favorite rivalries would be no other than ­ Union vs. P.C., Union vs. Strong, and P.C. vs. Strong. If you ever attended any match-ups between those teams, you too would agree.
“I fear the county lost some great coaches and rivalries. I fear it has also taken away opportunities for some youngsters who wanted to play.”
The inventor of basketball, Gary Don Smith, was one of the coaches that due to school closure moved north to take a job a Lakeside. Tony Burns can vouch for the fact that Coach Smith could have a winning team despite the fact “he played solitaire, while devouring a plate of lemon squares.”
Some of the most memorable games of Mr. Burns’ career were “The Pure Hatred Bowl”-- Norphlet vs. Huttig between Russ Bolding and Billie Gathright and “The Strong Dislike Bowl” ­- Union vs. Strong in the conference championship.
Despite the fact he no longer has to use a chisel and stone tablet, reporting hasn't changed a bit. His favorite tournament is still Regionals because every team is good and the stakes are high. The most unusual event he has ever witnessed at a game would be the pepper spray outbreak at Dual State a few years back.
Although Tony Burns never wishes to be a coach, he still managed to produce a starting line-up for the ultimate Union County girls’ dream team. Three of the five would come from Union: Heather Adams –“clutch,” Sharonda Davis-“clutch” and Mary Beth Gilmore-“tough.” The other two rounding out the top five would be Strong's K.J. Smith, a “clutch” player, and El Dorado’s Ashley Harrell, a truly “gifted” one.
I would have to say I agree with each choice, especially the label given to Mary Beth Gilmore. I grew up with her, she used to run barefooted on the gravel road dribbling a basketball and once dislocated a poor girl’s arm in a game.
Even though you may possibly see him as a confident man with his Air Jordan sweat suits, Tony’s most embarrassing moment of reporting came when he ripped his pants in Junction City and had to wait for kids to form a line to run the boys out to make a quick exit. Maybe he should have cut back his visits to the lounge to 599.
There are many rules in the game of basketball that at times I would love to see abolished; however, Tony’s vote is to see the jump ball taken out of girls’ play. “Let them fight for it!”
The fans would probably love to witness this; it would be like two sporting events for the cost of one -­ boxing and basketball.
The crowd has been known to play an important role in deciding the outcome of a game. “Fans can help motivate their teams, but good teams won’t let negative fans bother them.”
Basketball is a sport that is ultimately loved around the area. For many years now, locals have begun their day with a bowl of Corn Flakes and articles by Tony Burns.
If you don’t get the paper, don’t worry, his future plans may include some fiction ­- Tony Burns: Basketball Superstar. Save your daily newspaper money and get his best-seller book off the Barnes and Noble shelf in a few years.
(Emily Poole is a senior at Parkers Chapel.)